The day after I broke up with a long time relationship with a guy —whom I thought would made me a happy wife—, my
good friend Lilly Archila gave me the best advice in my entire life: “Start learning to love yourself, Cindy”.
What wait! “Love your…self….Cin…dy?”
A lot of thoughts were running through my head at that moment, “What’s the heck is Lilly talking about?”, “Of course, I love myself. I have a nice body, a pretty face and I eat healthy!”.
“What’s self love has to do with what I went through?”, I asked myself. I really had no idea why Lilly gave me that kind of advice. Well, at that time, I was thinking that I love myself already.
But this is what actually happened…
I just continued on beating up myself in bed, crying, thinking about the “Why me?”.
Why and why the world went against me after everything I have gone through to make everyone (including my ex) happy. I spent my whole life listening to others, reading their lips, analyzing their facial gestures of disapproval and accepting faults.
See, I completely forget all about the “Love yourself” or whatever that meant at that time.
I was too busy focusing on the why’s. And I didn’t even realized that I let the opinion of others became the measure of my self-worth.
This is only a small part of my life before I fully understand about loving myself (or self love). Yes, some sad and bad situations like this, happened to me a lot of time. In fact, it took me 36 years until I realized that I was completely wrong when I said: “I love myself already.”
So just imagine how does it feel to be like me. It’s really really sad. Trust me.
Long story short, after publishing my story for the anthology series of the Silver Linings Storybook, my life suddenly changed. It was the time when I finally woke up (spiritually), and realized what I’ve been missing for almost 37 years.
As a saying goes, “Better late than never!”
…after I woke up, I realized that I’ve forgotten to love myself. I have dwelled myself too much in the past and used someone’s ruler to measure my self-worth which always left me short. I needed to find me again. (This was my aha moment.)
I decided to dedicate the rest of my beautiful life, nurturing my soul which led me to re-connect with my inner Crisocolla.
And I started with what I call as The Self Love Diet, I learned to give up false beliefs and stopped being the victim.
I won’t deny that it took me almost 3 months to get back on track (compared to 37 years of being lost in the dessert) again. After months of trials and errors, I finally reconnected with my inner Crisocolla. Gratitudes and abundance have filled my entire life.
I really love my life now. This is how amazing the power of self love is. Learning to love yourself, finding your self worth is magical. And now, I want to share with you how I did it. I call it, “The Self Love Diet”
Start Learning to Love Yourself – The Self Love Diet
The Self Love Diet
So my dear soul friend, let’s start at the beginning. No, it’s not about the Paleo Diet. This isn’t even about becoming a new YOU or gaining a new insight. It’s about giving up things that you have been holding on to for a very, very long time.
Create awareness about false beliefs and self-limiting stories.
A story is about how you tell yourself and others to justify why you are the way you are. Your story may be of encouragement, of sadness and finding guilt. Your story might fill you and us energetic and happy, angry and disappointed, or even helpless and victimized. So ask yourself this question, “Is my story causing outer drama and inner drama, or is it bringing me quietly, tranquility and fulfillment?”.
Examples of self-limiting stories:
“I am not thin enough to model.”
“I am not pretty enough.”
“I am not intelligent enough.”
“I am not young enough.”
“I am not athletic enough.”
“I am not sociable.”
“I am problematic.”
“I am not worthy of love.”
Have you been there?
I am sure you have been through it, and so did I.
But, it’s not Crisocolla that’s talking to you. They are false ideas that are the base for the limiting belief structure we grasp on for a long time. When you tell these self-limiting stories for a long, long time, your subconscious automatically obtains that information and save it. This lead you to subconsciously accept the fact that these stories are no longer stories but are FACTS.
Let Go of the Self-Limiting Beliefs
Once you create an awareness of the type of stories that you share, the next step is to release the belief that you are a victim or a martyr. Ask yourself this question, “How do I view myself?”:
[A] as a powerless and helpless woman, or
[B] I still believe I need to be something or someone I am not in order to be accepted?
Which of these did you choose? A…B? or both? If you choose either one or both of the above, then let me tell you something, soul. These stories will rule your life and define your present reality.
Remove your mask or protective armor that you are hiding behind.
This is the hardest step because it’s about you being reluctant to openhandedly let go of the past and give up the future. In other words, you must be amenable and ready to give up who you think you should be in favor of who you are. Makes sense?
Claim your feminine authenticity.
Now that you learned to create awareness, release the self-limiting beliefs, remove the mask, be reluctant to give up who you should be and be your beautiful, powerful self, then you are now ready to fully experience the world that awaits you. You will happy and confident which will lead you to have success in your business, social and personal life. I promise you!
It took me 37 years to discover the meaning of self-love and to learn to love myself (for real). I consider myself a Goddess and a Warrior, but a tremendous work in progress. I’m a woman just like you, learning, growing crying and laughing. But I am also human because I make mistakes.
I still step on people’s shoes, take things personally, and even I say things I shouldn’t have said. I even feel vulnerable. But, that’s okay because I love my mistakes. I laugh at my fears. I also believe in my self. In other words, I honor and admire all these parts of myself. I am ME!
The good news is that it’s never too late to become the real you. In fact, that’s what the world needs right now: the AUTHENTIC YOU!
So my message is clear: Start…Learning …to…. Loveeee….. Yourrrrrself right now, or let yourself stuck with your past or be someone you are not (which is unhealthy for yourself) for the rest of your life.
Start with a simple way like The Self Love Diet I wrote above.
And if you have any questions, you can write your questions in the comment section below. I always check this blog, anyway. So I’ll answer your question quickly.
Anyway, if you love this post, there are even more self-love tips that I sent to my email list weekly. If you’d like to receive more self-love tips and articles like this, you can subscribe to my email list using the form below.
Go practice The Self Love Diet, and start learning to love yourself today. Don’t spend too much of your time dwelling in the past or being someone you are not!
Love and abundance,
P.S. If you’re interested to learn self love, and completely understand what is self love so you can completely transform your life into a more positive life than before…
I have a good news for you…
I just released my course. It’s called the Crisocolla Self Love Project.
This course is based on my own self love journey, which I transformed myself from an innocent deaf girl who always been bullied and hurt, into a strong woman who believes in herself and knows how to handle every negative thing life throw at her.
Here’s what you’ll discover in the Crisocolla Self Love Project:
- Learning how to love & honor yourself sincerely and meaningfully.
- Building fulfilling relationships.
- Furnishing you with greater resilience and confidence so you can stay strong even in the toughest situation.
- Improving focus and personal effectiveness.
- Developing a deep sense of self-awareness and direction in life.
- Learning how to nourish your mind and body.
- Finally, discovering your ‘ingenuity’ and learning to celebrate your personality.
…and many more valuable lessons!
Just click on the link below to learn more about this program:
The Crisocolla Self Love Project